Maybe, just maybe
by Leigh59
Summary: Gibbs thoughts after the McGee twins are born.


I make no money at all, they are not mine at all, if they were things would be different… oh well.

He left the hospital not long after seeing Tim and Delilah and their newly born children. He was proud of Tim and just how far he had come as an agent, and more importantly as a man. He would be a good father, of this he has no doubt whatsoever.

After starting the car he had to admit to himself that he was jealous, hell, very jealous. He couldn't help how he felt. McGee has everything in the palm of his hand. Everything that was taken away from him so long ago.

He drove home not even paying attention, memory driving as it were. Once in his home, took his mail out of the mailbox then he put his weapon away; dumped his mail on the growing pile on the table then poured himself a drink. Only then did he sit sighing deeply. His empty house full of echos, memories, and ghosts of the past, a past he just can't to let go.

Leaning his head back on his sofa he closes his eyes. He can be completely honest with himself here, no one is here to stop him; no one that he has to things hide from.

He remembers when he almost killed his daughter's best friend Maddie. He remembers as he was drowning, his daughter telling him to go back. All the while he just wanted to join her and his wife. He remembers coughing and coming to on the dock, his hand touching Maddie's. All the while wishing it was Kelly's hand he was holding.

For the longest time he hated DiNozzo; for saving him for bringing him back from his near drowning. Yes, he realizes now it was wrong. But he did hate him and sometimes he still does especially times like these. He was so close to being with his 'girls', as he likes to call them. But his second in command risked his own life by saving both Maddie and himself. A foolish thing to have done considering the state of his lungs. In time he came to understand that Tony had no choice at all. He did what was required of him like he always did. Saving his ass and covering his six as he had done countless times from day one.

He misses his friend, for he had become his friend in time. But he had moved on with his life, with a child that was said to be his. A man like Anthony DiNozzo doesn't skirt his responsibility; he steps up and does what is required of him.

He thought of him from time to time wondering how he was, how the child was; but he had no new information, no calls emails... nothing at all. A clean break; it left an empty space in his life. Tony had become closer than any of his ex-wives. Being completely honest with himself he could read him better than Shannon his first wife, his one true love. He understood now why, in their line of work being able to communicate without words, just a look, is what makes true partners special. A trust that comes out of knowing that you'll always be safe and your six will be covered.

He misses his friend, if he could go back in time he would. Thank him for saving his life and that of Maddie. For he never did thank him, at the time he was so full of rage and anger at not dying. Placing the blame on Tony, not himself and his dangerous decision to go it alone.

To be a lone wolf, as Tony had more than once told him, was not going to happen as long as he was his partner. But he did and more than once, Tony always seemed to know what he was thinking and would show up and foil his plans .

Swallowing the last of his drink Gibbs went to the kitchen, he needed food and rest, after all tomorrow was another work day.

Glancing at the mail as he lifts his fork he sees a familiar handwriting on a white envelope. A neat flowing script. He knows that handwriting like his knows his own. He picks it up and looks for post mark then swears as he sees there isn't one. "Bastard" he thinks. Not really surprised as he has always known Tony was smarter than he let on.

Putting his glasses on he rips open the seal. Pulling out single sheet of paper

_Boss, Gibbs, Jethro, _

_How about I stick with Gibbs. But you never expected to get this. No post mark for a clue either, so what am I a jackass or a bastard? I guess I deserve it. I made a trip recon style and dropped it off, sorry, not sorry. But I didn't have the heart to wake you as you were sleeping like a baby. Don't head slap yourself no one is perfect. I'll keep in touch. Tony_

That man is going to get the biggest head-slap that I've ever given him. Is all that Gibbs can think. Not a word for almost three years then this note with no information at all. He still can't help but smile to himself, if anyone can pull off a silent recon it would be his Tony. A man that the hated with so much passion for robbing him of his death so he could see his girls again, only to be worrying about the man and what he is doing.

His friend, a perfect yin to his yang. You either loved him or hated him, some could stay on the edge and do both. Only a few could see past his act, and see a very complicated man with more secrets than the CIA could ever hope to solve.

A seldom seen smile breaks through his facade it quickly vanishes as he tosses the letter back on top of the pile. After shaking his head lightly he mutterers under his breath "That damn bastard."Gibbs cracks a signature, rarely seen smile before tossing the letter back into the ever-growing

His friend because only a true friend could see the longing on your face and still not let you die without a fight. He knows now, it really wasn't his time; he still had things to do. Maybe, just maybe if he is good and does enough good; it might just upset the scales. He might just get to see his girls again.


End file.
